Tagged: Single Island

Public Service Announcement: The Red Lobster Date

Red Lobster Detour

Red Lobster Detour (Photo credit: voteprime)

The restaurant you choose to take a date says a lot. Yes, I do realize that it comes off as vain, but that’s how it is. Take Red Lobster for example. I don’t (and probably will never) understand what’s so charming about this place.  I’ve had better seafood at a backyard cookout.

I remember planning a first date with a guy I was interested in. He asked me where I wanted to go. I didn’t have a particular place in mind, so I named a few places that I didn’t want to go. As soon as I mentioned Red Lobster, ol’ boy got in his feelings.  You would have thought I  told him his mother’s cooking was nasty.

I explained to him that I consider Red Lobster to be the McNightmare of seafood. What would have been spent on mediocre food could be put to better use elsewhere. There are much better options that are well worth the price. He didn’t want to hear it. That was the last time I spoke to him. Guess I struck a nerve. Oh well.

Instead of getting all emo because somebody doesn’t like your fave, why not try something new? Do us all a favor and get some culture in your life.  Endless shrimp are not the blueprint for fine dining.

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Thankful: Google Voice #XD31

Image representing Google Voice as depicted in...

Image via CrunchBase

Google Voice is a must have for those on Single Island.  I give out my Google Voice number to those who want to contact me. It gives me a little bit of control. If I lose interest for whatever reason, I don’t have to worry about someone blowing up my cell phone with a lot of crazy. I can just go to my Google Voice account and have that stalker’s number blocked.

Communication and peace of mind. A definite win for me.

Thankful: Peacefully Quiet Refuge #XD31

I live alone. After enduring noise all day, all I want to do is to relax in the peacefully quiet refuge that is my home.

At times, it’s a struggle. Peacefully quiet refuge isn’t cheap. On the other hand, I cherish quiet time too much to split rent and utilities in half.

No thank you.

Public Service Announcement: Salutations and Online Dating

Some men have either forgotten their manners or were never taught any. Addressing a woman you don’t know by anything other than “Miss”, “Ms.”, or “Ma’am” will get you verbally throat chopped.

Recently, someone left me a message on a dating site I’m subscribed to. Imagine my disgust when I read the following:

“Hey boo.”

My initial reaction was to go off on this moron. Once I calmed down, I realized that this guy has used this line on other women before and at least one of them thought it was cute. Gross.

If bad behaviors are acceptable by the majority, why correct them? While my fault likes in the man who sent me that mess, I also blame women for not correcting these dudes when they step out of line. If you think being called “boo” by a stranger is acceptable, what else will you accept?

Apparently a whole lot.

Single Island PSA: Break Time

I’m going on a dating hiatus.

Before you curse me for ruining your day, allow me to explain. I’m stepping back from taking an active role in the dating scene. If I meet someone, great. If I don’t, whatever. The train wrecks I’ve encountered thus far have irritated my spirit to no end. At this point, I don’t have the patience to endure another round of “getting to know you”. I need a break. Don’t worry, I’ll have plenty of tales to bring you from Single Island.

On that note, I’m out!

Single Island PSA: Approach Peter Pan with Caution

Responsibility comes with adulthood. For the most part, the majority of adults handle their business. On the other end of the spectrum there are those who refuse to grow up. Similar to Peter Pan, these men are socially immature and devoid of responsibility. Date them at your own risk.

Shit is real on Single Island. With so much to deal with already, who the hell wants to date a man-child? Who deemed that combo sexy?

Why are these men like this?

Allow me to offer my thoughts. The one man-child I encountered had an ex who viewed him as pitiful, resulting in a level of coddling that I find disgusting. Unfortunately in this case, the actions of one woman become a mess for the next one. So much for paying it forward right?

Now that you’ve been informed (or reminded), if recognize Peter Pan-like characteristics in a man, RUN!!!! The only person that can help him with his issues is a licensed professional.

This has been a public service announcement from Single Island.

Cuffing (Pre) Season is Underway!

Fall and Winter are nipping at Summer’s heels and Single Island is buzzing with excitement.

Why?

It’s cuffing pre-season.

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!

For those who are unfamiliar, cuffing season takes place during Fall and Winter. Those who are comfortably single during the warmer months may feel that the weather change puts a cramp in their style. As a result, many people who would usually be free agents find potential boo thangs to snuggle up with.

Like football, cuffing season has a pre-season. I’ve noticed that seasoned veterans are starting the selection process earlier this year. The pre-season allows time for one to check out potential boo thangs while they’re still enjoying the summer breeze. The major season goes by so quick and if one doesn’t plan properly, the ahead of the major season which goes so quick. It’s less pressure in the event that a potential doesn’t mesh, one has time to try again. Oh, and also like football, cuffing season typically ends when Spring is around the corner.

Keep in mind that not everyone participates in cuffing season nor do all cuffing reason relationships end once the flowers bloom. With that said, let the searching begin!!

Online Dating: Observations

Online dating. We see the commercials for popular dating websites such as *cough* Match.com and eHarmony that feature all of these former residents of Single Island that have found love. Their testimonials are so bubbly in hopes that you too will find that special someone according to.

*Insert massive eye roll here*

Many dating sites guarantee that you’ll meet your perfect match based on some proven system of algorithms, points, interests, etc. My inner pessimist calls that a load of crap. Too often have I logged on to see that I have a high percentage of matches that meet my criteria. Once I read the profiles, I start to question this alleged proven system.

Some of the observations that have me ringing the BS alarm:

1. Photos say a lot without saying anything.

There ‘s a HUGE difference between a photo taken 5 months ago and a photo taken 5 years ago. How can I take you seriously with a photo taken in 1999? At the same time, who do you think you’re going to attract with no photos?

2. If you ask for it, make sure you have it first.

Sure, we want someone who has their own transportation, living situation, job, etc. Don’t have a list of demands that you aren’t able to fulfill yourself. Asking for a mate to have a car and their own living situation while you’re couch surfing and bus hopping is not attractive.

3.  Don’t pass judgement.

I see this a lot. Too often, I’ll see a profile that specifically states that they’re only interested in a specific race of men/women. This is not the problem since we all have our personal preference. With that in mind, you don’t need to include a paragraph in your profile disrespecting all other races.

4. “I’m not here for sex but…”

Haha, this is hilarious. I can recall seeing a guy’s profile photos and he was naked in every.single.photo. Then, to cap it off, he had the audacity to say that he wasn’t interested in sex. Could have fooled me sir.

First impressions don’t mean squat for many. I’ve deleted and blocked more profiles than I have responded to. If this is what’s out there, I’ll continue to reside on Single Island. There are other things I care more about, like happy hour and football season.

Yes, football season.

Life on Single Island

Single Island. Population: Millions. Location: Far, far away. Now accepting long-term visitors. 

I’ve been single for a while now and while I would love to have that special someone in my life, I’ve come to terms that it may not happen anytime soon. At this point, I’m more optimistic about gas prices returning to under $3 than I am finding a potential life mate.

Life is rough outside of Single Island.

What is Single Island? It’s an imaginary place where all single people reside. One might describe it as paradise. If two residents meet and want to date, they must immediately leave the island. They are free to return in the event that said relationship fails for any reason.

How awesome would it be if such a place existed? Sign me up!

As a member of several popular online dating sites (names unimportant), I’ve made a lot of observations. The most important one being that there are a lot of truly crazy and weird people out there. If these same people are this way online, who the hell wants to date them in real life?! First impressions mean a lot and online profiles do count. Leading a conversation with your penis will get you blocked and reported as inappropriate.

For now, I happily live my life on Single Island, where is happy hour every single day.

With that in mind, I’ll drink to that.