We were friends that spent years denying the underlying feelings between the two of us. Finally, after much consideration, we decided to go for it.
Embarking on this unfamiliar journey with him riddled me with anxiety. In theory, things could go splendidly and we’d live happily ever after. On the other hand, reality reminds me that there’s a 50% chance that we could crash and burn. Not to mention that once the relationship ended, the friendship could very well end too.
Our relationship endured some really tough times. Over time, I began to see him more as my friend than my lover. I couldn’t suppress how I felt about him any longer. He needed to know.
We’re better as friends than lovers.
He fought so hard for the relationship. Promised that we could make this work. It was too late, my heart had already checked out. In the end, the relationship doesn’t matter if the friendship suffers.
When I decided to do a writing challenge for February, I didn’t want to do the expected. February is synonymous with love. Like other retail holidays, stores are abundant with the red and pink packaging of goods. The card aisle is abundant with “I love you” decorated in glittery hearts.
I know I’m not in the minority when I say that all of this is sickening.
Love isn’t all happiness and good times. Yes, that’s great but it’s so much more. It’s dark. It’s painfully regretful. It’s an open wound. This is what I wanted to focus on. The beautifully dark aspect of love. Once I decided on that, I felt the need to deliver the message in a unique way.
This is where music comes into play.
For the month of February, all posts (with the exception of Wisdom Wednesdays), will consist of memories from my romantic life and a corresponding love song.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Love: A Musical Retrospective. Enjoy!
Behind the dimpled smile
Past the contagious laughter
A flicker of sadness rests in her eyes.
Anxiety agitates her stomach
Stress dances on her spine
Pride won’t show it
Alone, she cries.
Fear and worry flow hot
Down her cheeks.
Weight slowly lifting
From her burdened shoulders.
A beautiful sadness revealed
A dimpled smile and contagious laughter.
But no amount of tears
Can remove that flicker of sadness from her eyes.