Category: Baffles of Life

Flawed Perfection

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When you truly love someone, you love ALL of them, flaws included.

Under no circumstances do you get to take all of the good characteristics of an individual and leave the flaws behind. Nor do you love someone and try to mold them into the person you want them to be. That’s not how love works. You are to love that person as they are now, not what they could be over time.

Makes sense right?

Instead of searching for something that doesn’t exist, it would make more sense to look for someone that’s suitable for you. A person who will love and accept all of you, just as you would love and accept all of them. Both of you should bring out the best in one another while challenging each other to be the best version of themselves.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is how love works.


A Renegade in an Eggshell Society

Image via Pinterest.


I never understood how sensitive people were until I took a look at my Facebook timeline. So many people posting their life stories for the masses to read and comment on. The comments section is where the sensitivity lies.

If you’re going to post about your cheating mate, understand that not everyone is going to offer you tissues and hugs. ESPECIALLY if this mate has a history of cheating and you have a track record of taking them back.

Nope, not gonna happen here.

What I am going to tell you in the comment section is that you look extremely stupid telling your friends that once again, he/she has cheated on you and once again, you took them back. Perhaps you should look within to figure out why your self-esteem is so very low.

Over-sharing parental units, you’re next.

I get that you’re proud of your children, however, I don’t need to see 45 posts of your children’s actions from the time they wake up until they go to bed. Then you follow-up by saying that you couldn’t get anything done that day. Of course you couldn’t get anything done *insert eye roll here*.

If I comment that if you put the phone down and I don’t know, tried to do something that day, you’d be surprised at how much you could get done. Makes sense right? Evidently not, because I get the following responses:

You’re rude.

You don’t have children, so you shouldn’t comment.

That’s where you’re wrong.  I’m going to comment because you put it on your timeline, which gives me the green light to comment. I understand that some people are (overly) sensitive, but there’s no reason to get in your feelings every time someone disagrees with you.

If it bothers you that much, stay off of social media.


A renegade in an eggshell society








Gold Star Entitlement


Image via Google Images.


That was on the license plate of a vehicle I was driving behind.

My immediate thought was why do people feel as though they are entitled to special recognition for doing their job?

In kindergarten, my teacher gave students stickers (e.g., gold, silver, bronze) based on their behavior that day. If you behaved, you got a gold star. If your behavior was less than stellar, you got a silver star, bronze star, or no star. That system motivated students to be on their best behavior.

This system doesn’t apply to the real world.

You don’t expect to receive a gold star for coming to work every day. If you want to continue to keep your lights on, you’ll come to work. There are no hand claps for paying rent/mortgage on time. No pats on the back for putting gas in your car before the gas light comes on.

These things are done because it’s necessary. Stop seeking recognition for doing what’s necessary.

It Takes Two to Care

Image via Pinterest.

Relationships involve a lot of give and take. You can’t expect everything to work out all the time without having to give up something to get something in return. That would be delusional.

If relationships are supposed to be 50/50, what happens in the event the scale is tipped?

Disagreements happen in relationships. It’s not going to be roses and sunshine all the time. That’s okay. On the other hand, some disagreements can be so bad, cracks form in the foundation you’ve worked so hard to build. In that moment you have two options:

1. Call it quits.


2. Fight for the relationship.

Decisions, decisions.

If the disagreement involves something that goes against your values , quitting is a viable option. Don’t stay in a relationship that you aren’t going to be happy with. Know when enough is enough.

If the foundation is worth repairing, by all means, fight for the relationship. Do what needs to be done to fix things. But there’s a catch. Both parties have to care about the relationship enough to fight for it. You cannot, I repeat, you cannot fight for something you don’t care about.

It takes one to tip the scale and two to care enough to balance it out.





When Trust Flees the Scene

Image via Pinterest.

This post is inspired by the following question that appeared on my Twitter timeline:

How do you deal with being cheated on?

My response? Leave.

There are some things that can be forgiven (e.g., forgetting a birthday, anniversary, paying the cable bill on time, etc). Cheating ain’t one of ’em.

For some, the logical decision to leave isn’t so clear-cut.

Trust is a hard thing to gain to begin with. It’s  earned, not given by default to any ol’ body.

Once that trust is violated, it’s damn near impossible to get back. I can recall an instance where I knew that he was cheating but my heart wanted to stay.

It can work, I would tell myself. Now matter how hard I tried to make it work, there was no amount of forgiveness to make me forget.

I didn’t believe anything he said anymore. Questioned his whereabouts each time he came home. Raised an eyebrow anytime he used his phone. Made myself anxious worry about him instead of packing to leave. Anxiety is the byproduct of worrying. It wrecks havoc on your well-being. No amount of delusion can fix the damage that has been done.

When trust flees the scene, that’s your cue to leave as well.

Preying on Opportunity

American Greed

American Greed (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m a HUGE fan of the CNBC show “American Greed” for a couple of reasons. One, I’m always amazed at how gullible some of these victims are. On the “Preying on Faith” case, a pastor traveled all over the country preaching the word to various churches. While preaching the word, he would talk about a program he had. Under the program, churches would invest money in exchange for a large financial return.

Of course, people fell for it.

How was he able to scam so many? He literally preyed on faith. Morally, it’s every bit of wrong. I felt sorry for those who put all of their money together for the investment. They believed that a man of God wouldn’t scam them.

But at some point during the episode, I was even more amazed that these same people were believing the excuses for why they weren’t receiving their promised returns of big money. I’m talking about months of not seeing any money and NOBODY rang the alarm that maybe something isn’t quite right.

C’mon now! If it sounds too good to be true, IT’S PROBABLY TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!!!

Moral of the story: Take nothing at face value!! If it doesn’t sit right with you, start researching. Don’t get wrapped up in the shiny outcome that you don’t analyze the steps to get there.


Public Service Announcement: Living a Life of Public Access

People are doing way too much on social media. Any given day, I can log into my social media accounts and read status updates about cheating, divorce, last night’s date, random itching, etc.

Yes, random itching.

What’s even worse is that they’re over sharing with no consideration of the possible backlash. There’s absolutely no way that they’re considering any sort of backlash because they’re just out. Social media is the new public access TV. Millions of people have access to it and status updates can go viral in seconds.

People are watching and taking notes. Don’t allow yourself to become blinded by the share button. Once you post that information out there for the world to see, it’s a wrap. You can delete it, but that doesn’t mean that someone hasn’t already captured it in a screenshot or some other method.

Is that post about last night’s date that left you randomly itching really worth it?

Me thinks not.

Insufficient Friendships

While doing some emotional spring cleaning, I realized that there are some people in my life that take without giving, and they have to go.

Rafiki was ever so wise.

Friendships work like ATMS. As long as you have the funds available to sustain the friendship, the friendship works. The moment the funds start to dwindle is when the friendship becomes insufficient.

I’m tired of putting funds into this friendship while the other parties continue to withdraw from the accounts. This time isn’t like all the others when I just “deal with it”. I’m pissed. I’ve put water in the pot. Put the pot on the stove. Turned the stove on and now the water is boiling over.

I’m closing the account and redistributing funds amongst the friendships that matter to me.

Bridge Pending Construction

Bridge under construction.

I don’t believe in avoiding issues that are clearly bothering my spirit. Avoiding it leads to an unnecessary physical and mental burden. It’s so much easier to just deal with it head on.

Build the bridge and just get over it.

People are quick to proclaim that they are “over it”. They practically sing it to the world. In the instances where the issue is brought up in general conversation, all hell breaks loose.

For example, a bad breakup takes place. You tell your circle that you’re over the relationship. Your circle is having a random conversation about relationships and someone  recalls a funny story about you and your ex.

The story’s intent wasn’t malicious. It was part of the topic of conversation at that time. You beg to differ and verbally decapitate the storyteller.

Didn’t you just send out a verbal press release that you had gotten over that bridge?

I guess the bridge is pending construction.

Misunderstood Struggle: Black Folks and the LGBT Community

English: Rainbow flag flapping in the wind wit...

English: Rainbow flag flapping in the wind with blue skies and the sun. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As a black woman, I have a BIG problem with fellow black folks being so unwilling to understand issues that the LGBT community face.

My mother grew up during the Brown v. Board of Education era. She often tells me stories of the hatred and ignorance she faced. Hell, I’ve faced my own share of ignorance solely based on the color of my skin.

For a group of people who KNOW what discrimination feels like to not understand the struggle of those who can’t help who they are is beyond me.  How the hell does someone justify that action without putting their ignorance on display.

NOBODY should tell you who to love, who you can marry, nor what you should do with your body.

The end.